My new blog

Hi fans! I made a new blog, Roller Derby Librarian, wot you can check out here. I'll still do Style Blag, natch. I haven't been posting lots of pics of yours truly lately cos I have a small camera problem, in that I don't have one. Hope to remedy that soon. Stay tuned for the ch-ch-changes.

Safety first!

Sometimes you need to put safety ahead of looking fabulous. Like, sensibly deciding to wear trainers instead of 8-inch stilettos to walk to the dairy: safety first! Mr Lagerfeld agrees. "It's yellow, it's ugly, it doesn't go with anything. But it could save your life." So when you next decide to give your driver the night off and take your car for a spin down a lonely country road, and you break down/ get a flat tyre: put on a safety vest before you attempt to fix said car/ change said tyre. In your tuxedo. With sunglasses on. At night. Remember to leave all your lights on and walk way down the road while the car battery drains. Aaah, fashion people: know their warps from their wefts, can't change a tyre. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for the ad where Jean Paul Gaultier wears a library monitor badge and reminds us all to use a bookmark instead of folding the pages back.

Paper bag

Sorry, fans! (i.e. Maman). I know my posts have been few and far between - I have been extremely busy with that stressful, busy, all-consuming thing that is ma vie. If I post anything in the next month then you know I am procrastinating and should be doing something else more productive. Something more important than a fashion blog. If such a thing exists!

I found this absolutely brilliant paper bag and I just had to share. But not just any paper bag, no! this one is a for-real Hermes bag to make yourself! Out of paper! From far away it probably looks like a real one, just like what Grace Kelly would have had, if she was a broke-ass blogger. Go, go to the Hermes website and download the PDF of your shopping dreams. You deserve it!

Bacon scarf

I keep forgetting that the point of a blog is to reference other blogs in a sort of perpetual loop of online postmodern Russian-nesting-doll-style mutual appreciation. So here's my bit: a bacon scarf to make yourself from the neato website Craft Zine. As a vegetarian - no, wait! keep reading! - I'm quite partial to fake meat accessories, like those bacon and eggs bandages and... okay, that's all I can think of. I think it has something to do with the fact that I find meat inherently amusing - not the real thing of course, just the thought of it: pork chops, salami, meatballs, frozen chickens... Don't ask me why, it's just wacky!

LOL Vogue #2

I love fashion mags, don't get me wrong, but they can be completely absurd. Jezebel agrees with me. And everyone loves making fun of 'moddles', non? Even editors of fashion magazines, otherwise we wouldn't get pics like this!

Syle icon: Rosie the Riveter

Everyone loves a feminist, which is why this is a look that I totally recommend for house-spouses, students and people who work from home. Haven't washed your hair this week? Not a problem! Wear a cute scarf and hide those shameful locks! Wear that comfortable pair of overalls or jumpsuit (in a dark, dirt-disguising colour) all day long! Nothing says busy busy! like practical clothes that are ready for anything that your baby/ tutor/ boss can (literally) throw at you. Don't forget to roll up your sleeves to really accentuate your manly biceps. You can do it!

Beauty tip #3: Sleep

This is a beauty tip that I have actually tried. Go to bed and get about 8 hours sleep. When you wake up everything will be a-ok again: the bags under your eyes will be gone, you'll be fresh and alert, and that lecture/ job/ wedding you just slept through was probably not that interesting anyway.