Beauty tip #2: Beer!

Apply beer liberally to your hair for extra shine! If you're not too drunk, remember to rinse thoroughly. Beer also makes you more attractive when it is consumed by another person. (This is possibly the only known beauty tip that works best when someone else does it.) A bottle of beer can be an appropriate and delicious accessory at parties, and later, in photos of you at parties on your Facebook profile ("Look at me! I'm drinking a beer! Wa-hey!")

Grey Gardens homage

Here is my half-arsed homage to Grey Gardens, Rufus Wainwright's fave movie and a camp classic from the 70's about Jackie Kennedy's loopy cuzzies living in a decaying mansion with only each other, the cats and the lawn guy for company. (Love that decaying mansion image!) And yet, in spite of the crumbling ruin that is her home and her mind, Edith "Little Edie" Bouvier Beale still gets up in the morning, gets dressed (in her particular, eccentric style) and goes about her weird, lonely days wearing a scarf fashioned from a shabby old sweater, fastened with a brooch and her skirt on upside down. I can't stress it enough: this film has essentially reinvented how we look at dressing. I mean, anyone who can challenge our understanding of what "skirt" means must truly be a style icon.
(This is a different kind of clothing inventiveness than the guy I once worked with who came in to work two hours late, drunk, with his t-shirt on backwards and inside-out. Different leagues). I think Edie's ensembles are more than just a crazy woman covering her bald head - she know what suits her and she works it!

"Mother wanted me to come out in a kimono and we had quite a fight…"

An inspiration for us all.

Big Day Outfit, 2008

This is what I wore for the Auckland Big Day Out, 2008. Although it's not exactly what I wore: I also had on a black baseball cap (to keep my face from turning the same colour as my t-shirt!) and I had a water bottle tied to a pink satin scarf for "hands-free hydration". Oh hey, don't worry kids! The ciggy has not been lit! It's just what those in the fashion industry call a prop. We use props to create a certain look. This look says 'I'm rocking out!' Here, I'm referencing Joan Jett. (But I wonder if Joan Jett would actually wear a t-shirt with her face on it? And she plays the electric guitar, not the ukulele. And I don't think she smokes, but neither do I. And I can't play the ukulele...) Rock n roll!!!

Beauty tip #1 (of many): Guacamole-style invigorating face mask

Recipe:

2 avocados (mash with fork)
Chopped fresh coriander (a couple of pinches)
Minced or chopped hot green jalapeno chili (seeded)
Juice of 1 lime
Salt and pepper

Combine all ingredients and voila!

(Thanks to Amy Sedaris for this recipe!)

Well I have never actually tried this as a face mask myself, but chilies are really good for invigorating the skin, I'm sure. So, what the hey! In the pursuit of beauty, ladies! Beauty is pain, ladies, beauty is pain. And sometimes it stings.

Apply to face or serve with corn chips.

Today's style icon: Anne of Green Gables

Today, I'm channeling Anne of Green Gables. She never wore orange in the book or the movie, her dream outfit involved puffed sleeves and the reality was wincey dresses in muted hues, but the orange thing is in reference to her hair, and the droopiness of it is a reference to her tendency to 'moon about' in nature. Obscure, yes.

Welcome, fans!

Doesn't look like much yet, but if you're a fan-o-fashion like me then this is the blog for you. Well, not quite yet, but soon, very soon, and for the rest of your life. Stay tuned!

To get the ball rolling let's all have a laugh at models. Cheers, Jezebel for the link. (I don't think it's her real name!) LOL Vogue! Aw... silly, malnourished wee thing.